Rick Santorum's Job Prospects In A Brave New World

Rick Santorum's Job Prospects In A Brave New World

Mid-term elections are now less than a week away.

Speculation is high on Rick  Santorum's ability to hold onto his seat in Congress, as some polls show he's trailing Bob Casey by 7 points, others show Rick's down by 17 points.

What if Rick Santorum loses the election?  What will the man who supposedly wants to shut down puppymills do to earn a living?

Careers In Dogs

Will the man who is famous for his man-on-dog comments want to somehow stay in an animal-related role?   

Rick has taken quite a beating from both sides of the aisle, especially for kissing up to animal rights groups, but as you can see (thanks to illustrator Nick Van Duren), Santorum is holding all the cards.

Will Rick end up working as a volunteer for United Against Puppymills?  Will Rick Santorum take on a role for the Humane Society of the United States or PETA? Or even the AKC?   

If Rick loses to Bob Casey next Tuesday, just what are his post-election job prospects?

An Enriching Career Path

Here's my prediction...............

If Rick Santorum loses the election, he'll follow in the footsteps of his predecessors, Tommy, Newt and Tom. I think Rick will follow a career path that's "rich" in tradition, and follow fellow politicians - not to mention two Bush Cabinet Secretaries ........where?

Right into the microchip business. 

That's right - microchips - as in animal microchips and the human implantable microchips.  BTW - anyone with any sense should know that the term "electronic healthcare records" really means human microchips.

Now for those new readers out there in my geopolitical blogosphere wondering what all this has do  with Dogs + Politics, and Rick Santorum, here's a refresher. 

Last year, in the midst of the hotly debated PAWS Bill, Rick Santorum's so-called "anti-puppymill bill" I postulated that microchips, not saving puppies, was the real reason behind Rick Santorum's newfound love of puppymill puppies - AND his ill-fated PAWS bill, see the essay  - "Show My The Money, Microchips & Political Power".)

Back to Tommy, Newt & Tom -   You say didn't know that they've moved into microchips???   You sillies, I guess I'll have to 'splain things, then won't I?

Now just in case you didn't know - former HHS Secretary Tommy Thompson, and former Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge both work for microchip companies. 

And just in case you didn't know   -  former Speaker, Newt Gingrich, Founder of the Center for Health Transformation, fully supports "electronic health care records"  - I read that as human microchips.

Hey - do you think that if  Rick Santorum does lose the election -  he might be lucky enough to land a gig with Tommy, Newt & Tom?

But first, a little background...............

NAIS - With Love To Cargill From The USDA, HHS & DHS

The National Animal Identification System  - aka NAIS -   is that odiferous plan to microchip all living farm creatures and track them by satellite  in the name of "food safety", which is supposed to be  "voluntary" (it ain't) and in place by 2008.

For the uninitiated - you could say that NAIS is like a giant gift from the government to giant agricorps - with love from the USDA, HHS & DHS.   Cash always makes a great gift, don't you agree?

What's wrong with that?

NAIS forces all farmers or even individuals to microchip every animal - even if it's just one chicken, bunny or goat, to register their land with the government and get a satellite tracking ID - all the new chips are trackable by satellite, and forces animal owners to turn in other animal owners.  No animal may leave the premises without reporting it to the government.  Yeppers.

This Matrix-like plan is vehemently opposed by small, family or organic farmers and privacy experts, since NAIS all but consolidates the production of the nation's  food supply  - giving it over to the richest, biggest corporations - some would say factory farmers.  NAIS will force small producers out of business - or force them to contract out to factory farms to stay in business.

Just where did this hellish plan come from?  Would you have  guessed, buckeroos, that NAIS  - the microchip plan - was conceived under the leadership of none other than.........

• HHS Secretary Tommy Thompson
• Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge and -
• the USDA - oh hey - isn't Rick Santorum the USDA Chair of the Subcommittee on Research and Nutrition?

Now all you aspiring policy wonks out there, you'll want to learn the by example from these fine pubic servants.......

The secret to success is if you are going to create a monster, cash-producing program for the benefit of special interest groups while you are in office, it's always a good idea to make sure you get a job that same special interest group after you leave office .  That way you can reap the benefits of all your hard work on behalf of the American people.

Rick Santorum's Job Prospects

So here I am - asking the simple question....  if ole' Rick loses the election, what are his job prospects?  What's his exit strategy?

I sincerely doubt that Rick Santorum will have to worry about feeding six kids on a minimum hourly wage at some fast food chain, like the rest of the poor slobs that lose jobs that are being outsourced to South Asia or Eastern Europe.

And if we know our Rick, you can be sure he's networked up the ying yang.  And I am confident in his skills - and I am more than confident that Tommy, Newt and Tom will help Rick get a job right away with one of the microchip companies they work for or own.

An Enriching Career Path

Lucky for Rick Santorum - - there sure is a ton of growth in the microchip industry. 

And with all his experience holding court down there on K Street - getting a job in the private sector in a microchip company just might be easier than he thinks.    Plus, if he's lucky enough not to be re-elected - he won't have to deal with the fallout of that pesky Jack Abramhoff scandal.

Rick still has friends in high places - even if those places pretend to be in the private sector.  After all - what good is a government job if you can't get yourself an even higher paying job in the government- just as long as they pretend to be in the private sector, right?

Who's he gonna call?

Should Rick Call Tommy?

In case Rick loses - he might wanna give these guys a call:

Tommy Thompson, former Heath & Human Services Secretary - now Director, VeriChip  Maybe Rick would like a job working with Tommy.   

After all, Tommy could use some help spreading the word about the benefits of getting all us humans implanted with microchips.

When Tommy signed on with VeriChip - it was announced that he himself would also be getting chipped, but hey - we kinda think that Tommy might have an aversion to large needles, since he still hasn't undergone the chipping procedure himself.

Still, Tommy is quite a trooper - pressing on with his mission and defending the company from evil journalists who ask pointed questions, like Ed Crane of CBS MarketWatch.  Poor Tommy - so misunderstood.

VeriChip lauched a plan to chip hospital patients last year,  and now, the folks at Tommy's employer are working their tuschies off to make sure that more patients at at more hospitals get implanted with the human microchip.

VeriChip has been busy working with insurers like Horizon Blue Cross & Blue Shield to chip and track patients at Hackensack University Hospital.

I feel better already, do't you?

Should Rick Call Tom?

Tom Ridge  former Governor of PA and Homeland Security Chief

Director, Savi Technologies - Maybe Rick Santorum could get a job with the Savi, another microchip company - he's got a friend there.

Rick could call up Tom Ridge - the former Governor of PA and Homeland Security Chief is on the Board Of Directors at Savi - and ask for a job.

After Tom Ridge announced his resignation on 11/30/2004 to "spend more time with his family, he was back in action just 5 months later, when it was announced that he was appointed to the Board of Directors at Savi.

Tom was snatched up by the RFID microchip maker and Department Of Defense contractor in April of 2005 for his strategic insight (not to mention door-opening abilities)  - the company's press release said they believe in Ridge's "geopolitical perceptive".  Savi was acquired by Lockheed Martin earlier this year. 

Betcha Rick Santorum wouldn't have a problem getting a job with Tom.

Should Rick Call Newt?

Newt Gingrich, Founder - Center For Health Transformation,   Now I'm sure that Newt could find a place in his heart and organization for someone with Rick Santorum's skills in animal agriculture,

Several months ago, Dr. Newt, that public health expert, was interviewed on the Today Show by then host Katie Couric about - you guessed it - bird flu.  That's because Newt is an expert on bird flu, and has taken his rightful place in the media pulpit pontificating on the subject. So I thought to myself, what's Newt got to do with bird flu?

It turns out that Newt has this "public/private" consortium - AKA the Center For Health Transformation - whose members include big-ass, heavy duty healthcare players, from drug companies and hospital systems, not to mention a bunch of consulting players, like Booz Allan and PWC. 

Newt's a visionary  and sees his group as "A collaboration of transformational leaders dedicated to the creation of a 21st century intelligent health system in which knowledge saves lives and saves money for all Americans".

Newt's  members  - all those insurance companies, drug companies and big pension plans - all share his vision of a "new system of health justice".  Has Newt gone soft - a "new system of health justice"?

Newt apparently wants all those poor people to finally get healthcare.  And - now all those retirees that GM is dumping from the company pension and healthcare won't have to worry  either, because Newt wants a "new system of health justice".

Everyone is on board to rid of that "predatory trial lawyer system" and replace it with a "new system of heath justice".  And we know that Newt, along with all those drug companies - want health justice for all those little people out there, too.  Very impressive.

Do you think that Newt's "new system of health justice" would include, let me think hard - oh yeah ............. microchips?

In an article, Gingrich noted that such a system would eliminate medical mistakes from illegible prescription orders. "Paper kills," he said.

Now you can count on Newt's uncanny ability to be in the place at the right time, because ironically, President Bush has called for "electronic medical health care records" to be in place by 2014. 

Newt's really amazing, don't you think?  It's like he had this crystal ball and could see the future.  Plus - the way he and Tommy and Tom had this Vulcan mind-meld and they all ended up in microchips.

Rick's Bright Future

Rick Santorum, possible former U.S. Senator, USDA Chair Subcommittee of Research, Agriculture & Nutrition

Why is this man smiling?  Because win or lose this election, Rick's a winner either way.

Now I had a dream about the election.................

If Rick wins the election - then puppy mill puppies will once again be championed by the only right-winging animal rights activist in the Senate.  And each and every puppy will have a microchip to protect it - and no one, but no one, will ever again be allowed to have puppies, or own a dog or breed a dog, unless the HSUS and the AKC say so. 

And all the chipped little puppies will be happy, and fed, and tracked right through conception to completion - right thru to their loving guardian's homes, and then all the purchases and medical care that the puppy guardians make on behalf of their puppies will be tracked in one giant database shared by the generous people at big corporations and drug companies.

And in my dream............. 

There was a scene in which Rick loses the election, but not to worry, because his friends Tommy and Newt and Tom were all there to welcome him into the private sector in the microchip industry. 

And together, Rick, and Tommy, Newt and Tom went about chipping all creatures great and small for the benefit of mankind and the government.  They didn't discriminate against any of the species and chipped all of the animals, human and nonhuman, alike.

And  in order to form a more perfect union, PETA and HSUS and ALF crossed the divide, and partnered with Monsanto and Cargill, so that they alone, in their infinite wisdom, controlled the ownership and breeding of all the animals upon the earth - so that there was no more suffering, only profits, non-taxable of course.

Oh - and in my dream Joe Trippi, Democratic media strategist and expert on the psycho-social causes of breed discrimination, was there too - waving the flag that said No More Homeless Pets!

And Joe was sent by the Democrats to help decide which people could keep pets, and after a lengthy apaproval process conducted by Tammy Grimes of Dog Deserve Better, Tammy and her crack team of investigative dog rescuers got to decide which people got to keep dogs, under pain of theft. 

And after Tammy Grimes approved,  only certain people keep keep only pre-sterilized dogs and cats implanted with microchips that were acquired through approved Kindness Centers, but only if they gave up ownership and signed a sworn statement to become state-sponsored guardians, and had the government track them in a state guardianship database - oh, and paid a federal tax on pre-sterilized animals and a subscription fee for the microchip tracking, a portion of which would be donated to Best Friends Animal Society to stop breed bans.

And everyone was smiling and happy  - because together, Rick and Tommy and Newt and Tom - and Joe Trippi  not only launched a kindess revolution but were creating a very bright future - a Brave New World.

What a dream........... or what a nightmare................

A Brave New World

Then I caught a glimpse of this bright future, sent to me by another loyal DogPolitics reader and thought I would share it with all of you.........................

A Brave New World, indeed.  What do you think the stock deals look like?

Comments

[marie]

So, are you in favor of puppy mills that have cages filled with sick and old dogs being bred to death for profit ?
I can't quite put my finger on it because we are dog lovers here I thought ... and that is a hideous way to treat dogs.
I disagree with about all that PETA and ALF and the likes do, but to breed and breed and breed a dog just for profit and stack them in cages for life is gross and disturbing especially at a time when dogs are being killed in shelters by the millions.

EdItor's Note: No, Marie - No one is in favor of sick puppies from puppy mills. But you are a primary example of the slick and deliberate spin to get to to favor this bill - when in fact PAWS is a giant trojan horse pained with a sickley sweet Save The Puppies spin. You've been had, my dear, along wiht thousands of other animal lovers.

[Mary C. Desmond]

I didn't know that Gingritch,and the 2 Ts are/were into MiCHROCHIPS.

I avoid them and I breed CATS and sell them - in my contract I require them NOT to use microchips.

Mary C. Desmond

We are looking at a dreary future.